“Mary, your house is so comfortable.”
“Oh, um, you mean small and messy?”

[Insert awkward chuckle here.]

I never thought of myself as the Queen of Hospitality. After all, I hate to clean, I use a million shortcuts in the kitchen, and while I love throwing parties, I have to admit it can totally stress me out.

But as I read Sandy Coughlin’s book about entertaining and hospitality, I started to think I actually had a few things right when it comes to having people in our home. (And I have a few more to learn, of course!)

I’ve been in homes that look beautiful – but feel cold. And I’ve been to gatherings where I know the hostess spent a lot of time, energy and even money preparing – but because she’s so anxious, nobody feels at ease. And I’ve been at parties where the people were well-spoken and well-dressed, without a hair or hem out of place – but I wasn’t able to truly relax and enjoy myself.

I’ve also been in homes with cluttered counters and piles of laundry – and I felt at home immediately. I’ve been with friends who have spit-up on their shirts or babies (or cats!) on their laps – and enjoyed great conversations. And I’ve spent many hours with my shoes off and hair down, just BEING with great friends in their homes.

How do we bridge the gap between these two experiences (and stop shrugging off compliments when we actually get it right)?

I’ve been reading Sandy’s blog for a couple years now, so I know that she’s a big proponent of not letting perfectionism get in your way of living of full life. [You know, just like The Nester. And, AHEM, me.]

Her book is even better than her blog – and I really like her blog. It’s called The Reluctant Entertainer: Every Woman’s Guide to Simple and Gracious Hospitality.

Now, sometimes when people say “simple,” they really mean “Follow these 47 steps, spend $470 and 4.7 hours, and voila! You have a simple party.” Not Sandy. She does simple for real. She has the amazing ability to truly keep things simple – little to no expense, short time frames and tips that even a crafty klutz could follow.

And she does it all while focusing on what truly matters: your relationships with your guests. That’s right: it’s not about the napkins or the appetizers or the mood music. It’s about PEOPLE.

I love what Sandy says about how she learned the art of hospitality:

“My mom, Millie, passed down the torch of loving others as she started her own family and practiced hospitality along with my dad. Mom didn’t get caught up in over-commitments or in impressing others with over-the-top entertaining. She didn’t rely on television shows or magazines to improve her entertaining skills. Her simple china, a Betty Crocker cookbook, a couple of aprons, and some linens for the table were just about all she needed. Mom knew what reaching out to others was about: simplicity and love.”

Throughout this beautiful, easy-to-read book, you’ll find decorating tips, recipes and fun party ideas. But more importantly, you’ll find that Sandy’s focus isn’t on the things of entertaining but on the heart. And the heart of hospitality is loving people.

I love this book, and I am so excited to give away one copy to a lucky reader. Honestly, I read The Reluctant Entertainer as soon as I got my copy, and as I’m sitting here reflecting on it, I can’t wait to go back and read it again. With a highlighter.

For a sneak peek at part of The Reluctant Entertainer, check out Sandy’s 10 Commandments of Hospitality. She’s even made it into a printable for you!

How to enter: Leave a comment telling us about the most meaningful time of fellowship you’ve had in your home or someone else’s home.

For additional entries:
(Leave a separate comment for each one. And if you already do these things, tell me about it – in those separate comments!)

• Subscribe to Giving Up on Perfect
• Follow me on Twitter
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This contest will be closed on Saturday, November 20.

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