Work & Career — Giving Up on Perfect

He Knows Me

4:33 am ByMary @ Giving Up on PerfectFiled UnderFaith, Inspiration & Deep Thoughts, Work & Career

A few weeks ago, I met with my boss. Not my manager, not her manager, but the Big Boss.

My company’s not that big, so I’ve talked with him many times over the past few years. But this meeting was different. I was putting in notice to leave the company.

For about 30 minutes I sat in his office, nodding my head and mmm-hmm-ing, as he lectured me about how to behave in the weeks between giving notice and leaving. He reminded me that my actions in this crucial time would determine how the management team remembered me; in other words, how they would respond if contacted for a reference check.

I understood why he would have these concerns – in general. But with me? Had I done something to make him think I’d slack off during this interim period or badmouth the company while I was still there?

As my husband put it when I told him about the meeting later, Had I acted like that in the previous two and a half years?

After thinking about this meeting for a few days, I realized that my boss’s lecture wasn’t the part that bothered me. It was the fact that he didn’t KNOW me.

To read the rest of my post, please visit (in)courage.

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Guest Post: If the Shoe Fits…

4:26 am ByMary @ Giving Up on PerfectFiled UnderMarriage, Parenting, Family & Friendship, Work & Career

Earlier last week, I read Mary’s post about “How Quitting My Job is Like Rock Climbing.” And I could relate – both to the rock climbing and the analogy of how that feels like quitting work.

Back in our dating days I tried to impress my now husband by enjoying his hobbies. And therefore I took part in two things that I really don’t enjoy that much at all – camping and rock climbing.

It worked. We’ve been married eleven years now. Of course, at times my husband wonders where that girl went!

I remember the feelings that Mary talked about with the rock climbing analogy – you have to let go of one thing in order to grab another. I remember clinging to a rock, scared to death, yet knowing that I had to go either up or down. But either way I’d have to actually let go in order to make any headway in either direction! It’s frightening!

When my first child was nine months old, I remember how torn I was and how difficult a decision it was to leave a job that I really enjoyed and was very comfortable with to step into the world of a stay-at-home mom that I was completely unfamiliar with and rather honestly frightened with.

While reading Mary’s post I had one other very specific (and very painful) memory of rock climbing: the shoes.

You see, in rock climbing you wear a pair of absolutely horrible shoes that feel as if they are about two sizes too small. They are worse than any pair of stiletto heels! They curl your feet like ballerina shoes yet the material is hard and stiff. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Actually – it’s painfully uncomfortable!!

However you have to wear these shoes. You have to slip into (actually push, pull & pry) into shoes that are not comfortable at all. That are very unfamiliar. That leave you feeling completely out of place and as if you’re doing something very foreign and very different in a stranger’s pair of shoes.

But do you get used to it?

Yes!

Do you even start to like them?

Surprisingly, yes! Sometimes it’s a love/hate relationship, but you know you need those shoes for that specific task. That specific season of life.

Do you ever want to take those shoes off and slip into something more comfortable?

Yes! Some days you just don’t feel like rock climbing!

Those rock climbing shoes remind me so much of my feelings of becoming a stay-at-home mom. Some days I feel very uncomfortable and as if I’m in someone else’ shoes.

My son is now five years old. There have been days that I have wanted to slip back into my old “work shoes.”

And in fact, I have. I’ve been back to work part-time and I’ve been back to work from home (both with the same company that I left). I’m now at home full-time with two children, but I still try to find ways to slip my mind back into that comfortable place.

I volunteer my time on a non-profit board, I help with marketing a local small business, and I try to treat blogging like a little mini stay-at-home job. Together, they all help me fit back into a pair of comfortable shoes.

The only difference? I’m actually starting to like my “stay-at-home mom shoes” better (on most days anyways)!

Mandi is the author of “it’s come 2 this …” – A life blog detailing her personal story from double dates to play dates, business meetings to potty training. Along the way she realized she used to be a really good Mother before she had kids! Now, she’s trying to eat healthier, exercise more, save more & drop her desire for perfection! Because 2 kids later … it’s come 2 this!

Images by xJasonRogersx and Mariachily.

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How Quitting My Job is Like Rock Climbing

5:02 am ByMary @ Giving Up on PerfectFiled UnderWork & Career

Next Friday is my last day at my job. I’m leaving to spend more time with my family and to explore some options for more meaningful and flexible work.

In other words, I quit my job and will soon be a stay-at-home mom.

A few years ago, Mark and I went to Colorado for vacation. Our first stop was at Bear Lake in the Rocky Mountain National Park, where we hiked around the lake and up a supposedly “easy” trail to a waterfall. Then we decided to venture off the path and climb up a wall of rocks.

Climbing up was so much fun. But climbing down? Terrifying. That “wall of rocks” was maybe 10 feet tall, but I seriously thought I might die on the way down.

In other words, I’m not much of a rock climber.

Nevertheless, as my last day at work has approached and my anxiety level has flown past “slightly worried” and straight into “almost panicked but not quite,” I can’t help but compare this new phase of life with the very scary practice of rock climbing.

You have to let go of one thing in order to grab the next one.
It’s not hard to let go of my job. But letting go of my career – even if temporarily? And my idea of what “work” means? And my identity that, for better or worse, has a lot to do with going to an office and getting a paycheck? That’s real hard. But I can’t embrace this new adventure until I let go of those things.

Once you get to certain point, you can’t stop. You have to keep moving.
Mark and I discussed this for quite a while before finally deciding it was the right choice. Even then, though, we weren’t 100% sure. But there came a day when I had to put in my two and a half months’ notice – or lie about my plans for the third and fourth quarters.

So, I made the announcement. And then, there was no going back.

You need to have a spotter.
I don’t technically know how spotting works in rock climbing (you know, not being an actual rock climber). But I know you’re supposed to have one. And it’s kind of the same when going through major life changes, like quitting your job to stay home with your almost-three-year-old who’s recently developed serious behavior problems.

This one has come easily so far. Several of my friends responded to my announcement the same way: “Yay! Now we can have play dates !” Seriously, much squealing was involved. So, I already have two play dates scheduled and two others in the works. I’ve also scoped out our local MOPS group and plan on joining a Bible study at church once we get settled into our new routine.

It’s scary, but SO worth it.
I’m not sure about this one yet. But I’ll keep you posted…

Have you experienced any big life changes lately? Do you enjoy rock climbing?

Photo by Alex Indigo

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Wednesdays at Work: The bathroom situation

9:50 pm ByMary @ Giving Up on PerfectFiled UnderWork & Career

Who out there was an Ally McBeal fan? Do you remember their unisex bathroom? How weird was THAT?

Maybe it’s progressive or hip or mature. (Or sumpin’, as my daughter is STILL saying.) But I think it’s just . . . icky. And awkward. Extremely awkward.

Because sometimes you need to do bathroom business alone. Am I right? Okay, of course I’m right. You know what I’m talking about.

I’ve worked in several different offices over the years, and in addition to the office’s proximity to conveniences like a gas station and post office, the bathroom situation is also a huge determining factor in just how much I like any particular office.

Bathroom Situation #1

In my first “real” job, a handicapped bathroom – full walls and door, total privacy – was located just across the hall from the regular women’s three-stall restroom. Now that was handy.

Except for the time my co-worker was walking up to the door right as I was exiting. I guess it’s true what the book says, but still. Awkward!

Bathroom Situation #2 (No pun intended. Don’t be gross.)

At my next job, my office was located in the third floor of an old building that also housed a movie theater. My office had shiny, noisy concrete floors, and the bathroom walls didn’t go all the way to the vaulted ceilings. So, pretty much everything that took place in the bathroom – from gossip and crying to flossing and flushing – echoed throughout one side of the office.

I was so thankful when my co-workers told me about the second-floor bathroom – and even better, the hidden, first-floor bathroom. Luckily, the building’s first floor held not just the theater but also lots of hallways, twists and turns, and nooks and crannies. And an old, isolated, slightly scary bathroom.

Sure, it may not have always had soap, and you may have always wondered who you would run into back in that dark corner of the building. But isolated can be a good thing when you need your privacy.

So that was handy, too . . . until the day that the toilet wouldn’t flush. I still feel bad about that. (Because, really, there’s no telling when that situation was discovered. I know. Let’s move on.)

Bathroom Situation #3

In my current job, my office is located in an old farmhouse that was also previously a restaurant. We have a few random hallways, nooks and crannies here, too – but at least they’re well-lit.

For the first year and a half, I sat just outside the second floor handicapped bathroom. It’s a big room, so it’s roomy, you know? But it’s also an acoustical nightmare and echoes every sound like nobody’s business. Except what goes on in there becomes everybody’s business.

Seriously. That was NOT pleasant. I was so glad to move into another, out-of-bathroom-earshot desk!

Have you ever had a bathroom situation at the office?

This post will be linked to Works for Me Wednesday, because a good bathroom situation at the office works for me! And for more on bathroom situations, check out The Secret Bathroom at Church from Stuff Christians Like.

Bathroom image by cote.

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Taggedbathrooms, career, jobs, wednesdays at work, work 34 Comments