Part of the reason I changed jobs this spring was to finally (FINALLY) take something bigger than baby steps toward my dream of writing a book.
And then, almost right away, I got pregnant.
WHICH IS A GOOD THING. But . . . it also made it real hard to get up early to write or stay up late to write or basically do anything other than SLEEP EVERY CHANCE I GOT.
But now . . . NOW, school is in session and so is the second trimester. (That’s the good one, you know? I mean, it’s not like I’m glowing – BECAUSE I’M NOT – but I’m not nauseous every waking minute either. So there’s that.) So I’ve been making lists and plans and schedules, scribbling it all in my notebook to make it oh-so-official.
I’m trying to reconnect with my writing accountability partner and get back to our weekly chats. I’m reading posts about follow-your-dream and word-hard and just-do-it, and I’m feeling like finally (FINALLY) it’s going to happen. This thing is really possible. I’ve run out of excuses. I just need to DO IT.
And you know what has happened? Opportunities have come out of the woodwork.
Great opportunities! The chance to work with great people on fun projects! Things I would love to do! Jobs I would normally jump at, gigs I would never turn down! Opportunities that are just PERFECT for me and my experiences and my skills and my interests.
Except . . . this time, these things aren’t actually paths to following my dreams. They’re not challenges to be met or opportunities to be grasped. They’re simply distractions.
And so this yes-girl is having to set her jaw and her spine, hold onto her nerve and say NO.
It’s crazy hard. I am not accustomed to turning down opportunities. I tend to be of the mindset that when things fall in my lap, THEY ARE MEANT TO BE.
But I’m learning that sometimes, an opportunity can be a distraction, not a destiny.
I haven’t really worked my way through this realization. I’d already determined this would be a season of maybe, but now it’s looking more like a season of no. I’m not sure what it means, whether this is a philosophy to be applied just for a season . . . or something that may change how I approach the rest of my life. (I know. Sometimes I blow things a tad bit out of proportion. Like I said, I haven’t decided one way or the other on this one!)
But I thought that just maybe you’ve experienced this, too. And, even if you haven’t, maybe you’d give me a little grace to process this one out loud.
So let’s process, eh?
Have you ever found that an opportunity is actually a distraction?
Have you ever found that a season requires a lot more NO than you’re used to?
Photo by katerha