Update: The winner of this giveaway is Kelli Stubbe. Congratulations, Kelli!
“Unrelenting perfectionism is a liability – and overcoming it is the key to leading a well-rounded and satisfying life. Perfectionism [is] the single greatest roadblock to juggling work and family…” (page 7)
Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood by Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple is a nonfiction book about how the working moms of our generation are redefining success and taking control. And I loved it.
The authors conducted extensive qualitative research, asking in-depth questions of moms from all over the country about how they manage, balance, juggle their work and family lives. What they found – in a nutshell – is that the women fell into two general categories: perfectionists and those satisfied with “good enough.” This book details their findings in a fascinating and mostly encouraging way, giving example after example of how women have found peace, satisfaction and fulfillment by redefining “all,” “best” and various other terms that keep the perfectionists from creating – and enjoying – the lives they want.
Amazon describes the book like this:
We’re the generation destined to have it all—a great job, the perfect family and the time to enjoy both. But between the conference calls and soccer practices, do you feel like you’ve lost track of what really makes you happy? And are you finding out the hard way that you can’t do everything?
The truth is that you can have it all.
The secret is creating an “all” that you love.
Join a growing new wave of mothers who are learning to let go of the little things and focus on what they really want out of their career, their family and their life. Through their groundbreaking research, Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple have discovered a paradigm shift in motherhood today: more and more mothers are losing their “never enough” attitude and embracing a Good Enough mindset to be happier, more confident and more successful. Filled with inspiring firsthand accounts from working mothers and drawn from the latest research, Good Enough Is the New Perfect is a true roadmap for the incredible balancing act we call motherhood.
Becky and Hollee have created not just a book but a whole movement and community. You can check it all out at their blog, The New Perfect. You can also follow them on Twitter at @beckyinbalance and @holleeinbalance.
As I read through this book, I didn’t necessarily identify with every woman featured or quoted. Many of them are currently working in high-profile, high-pressure (high-income) jobs, whereas I’m a stay-at-home mom who recently left a job for which I was overqualified and underpaid. Each chapter, however, presented a theme that inevitably touched on one part or another of my life, and the insights never failed to make me think.
Because I loved the book, I devoured it in about two days – and then wished I’d taken more time to process it all. So this summer, I’m going to work through some of the questions, theories and stories the book raised by holding discussions on my blog. My plan is to post one question per chapter (approximately) once a week between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Whether you work outside the home or inside it (or both!), I hope you’ll join me in looking at how we can all balance our work and family better, how we can all find our own “new perfect.”
I’m giving away a copy of Good Enough is the New Perfect to one reader. To enter the giveaway, leave a comment answering this question:
What ways have you (or would like to) found success and happiness by redefining perfect?
This giveaway will close on Saturday, May 21. This post contains affiliate links.
I have found success and happiness by redefining perfect this way: Accepting the fact that my house is not ever going to look “magazine perfect” all the time! We are just very messy people so I don’t kill myself to keep things *spotless* constantly. This has been very freeing for me, as I can stop comparing myself to other moms.
This book sounds great. Since you are a current SAHM and say it applies to us, too, I would love to read it. Then I would give it to my SIL who is a mom who works outside the home.
I would like to find success and happiness not just by redefining perfect but completely eliminating it from my vocabulary! I am the ONLY one who cares if there is dirty laundry in my baskets, I am the ONLY one who cares if my house is clean, I eam the ONLY one who can’t stand clutter! Perfection is a happy healthy family.
Wow. In August, I started my f
Wow. In August, I had my first baby and in October, I started my first teaching job… I am STRUGGLING to keep up with it all. I wish I could say that I’ve accepted being good enough, but I’m not there yet. I will be reading this book whether I win or not!
I guess in answer to your question I do not think a a lot about success but more about significance. I also don’t think a lot about happiness but rather joy that can come only from the Lord. I love the title of your blog and your writings.
I am attempting to find significance in my writing which I think most people might say is not good enough but it’s good enough for me. Because I invest in women I am very interested in what this book offers.
I am redefinng perfect by just trying not to compare myself to others. Everyone has different gifts and I while it is wise to learn from and aspire to imitate other godly women, I tend to covet other’s gifts and not see my own. I will never have anyone else’s family or home. God gave me my husband and my children because I have gifts that serve them and they are good for my growth as well. I tend to look at others and see them as perfect and you know what…nobody’s perfect so we should just forget it!….BUT I can’t get my head to do what my heart says sometimes. Still telling myself everyday that God is not grading me, I am already covered in his righteousness.
Mainly in my housekeeping. If there isn’t mold festering or rats roaming free, I am good. Ok so my standards are SLIGHTLY higher but you get my drift.
I used to be the typical Type A personality when I was young to the point I made myself crazy along with everyone else. I got a job that forced me to slow down and learn to do things much slower but I still took on too much. I kept my house perfect and even cleaned my house when I was in labor. Once I had my son though, I decided that I would rather focus my time on him and let other things go. As a single mom that was the only way to get by. To this day that is how I still survive and he is 27. It’s really okay to not have a spotless house. It won’t make you live longer by getting that last dust bunny up.
lkish77123 at gmail dot com
I have allowed myself to recognize that my daughter needs me, ME more than that perfect individual I think I am supposed to be.
I would love to read this book as that is often a rough thing to remember and I think it would help! Thanks for the chance to win!
This is the second post i have seen on this book and I can’t wait to read it!
I guess the number one way I have found greater happiness by redefining perfect is to focus as much as possible on MYSELF and MY LIFE rather than all the possibilities that are out there – seeing examples from others helps with inspiration, but when you see lives put forward as “right” ways my red flag goes up and I remind myself that it may be “right for them” rather than “right for me”. Just as ittakes balancing things to meet everyone’s needs in my house, it takes balancing in all other areas of my life. I cannot expect myself to deliver a “perfect” clean home 24/7 + a “perfect” diet for my family 24/7 + a “perfect” marriage 24/7 etc. I have to find my own rhythm and “new perfect for me” for all these things and accept that 80% is good enough most days.
I’m redefining perfect by being available to my three little ones…sometimes that means the house, lawn, meals aren’t “perfect” by others’ standards. But I promise, my three little ones somehow believe I’m THE BEST cook in the world! I’m trusting God to fill in the gaps where I fall short. It’s liberating!
Three years into our marriage and one month into full-time pastoral ministry, my husband was diagnosed with a mental illness. Almost twelve years later, it has been a constant journey of redefining perfect. One of the biggest things in that is accepting that what works for many of my friends just isn’t going to work in our home and family…that it’s okay to be good enough.
Wow, Jennifer. I can’t imagine the journey you have been on. I think what you said – accepting what works for our family, even if it’s different than anyone else – is such a valuable lesson for all of us!
By not drying my hair!!! Really ladies, it’s so freeing. I have saved so many hours–days, probably, by this point–by not spending the time to dry my hair.
Sure, for a special occasion (wedding, funeral, job interview, etc) I take the time, but otherwise, I got myself a wash a go straight hair style that works for me. It’s not perfect, but I’d rather be good enough.
Christie, I love it. I rarely dry my hair either. I know it looks way better when I do, but really, who has time? ;)
My problem has been that my mother was perfection- she was uber-mom, brownie leader, class mom,super party planner, always there and worked a full time job. Oh and dad was off in the Navy, so she was mom AND dad alot. That’s alot to live up to!
I have numerous projects and things I want to do, like she did for me, but I work 12 hour s days and it’s hard to acknowledge that I just DONT have the time like she did. So I am working at letting go of being perfect and being perfect to MY daughter!
thanks for the gvieaway!