At the close of that final event, the script I’d written called for someone to walk up on stage, take the microphone and announce the final total we had raised. After working my tail off for months and pouring my heart and soul into the whole thing, I was – what I call understandably – pretty darned proud of our success.
So you can imagine how excited I was to hop up on stage and announce what we’d done.
But before I could do just that, my manager speed-walked through the room and stomped up the stairs to make the announcement – and, presumably, take credit for what had been accomplished.
Immediately, my eyes welled with tears. I think I even turned away, not able to watch what I perceived to be an incredible injustice. In less than one minute, I went from a completely confident professional practically vibrating with excitement to a shaking, angry, devastated girl who just wanted to hide in the bathroom.
What on earth? What happened in that moment?
As I stood there with my curled hair and made-up eyes, in the beautiful ballroom packed with generous guests, I was overcome by fear. I was afraid that all my work would go unnoticed. I was afraid that nobody would realize who was truly responsible for the campaign’s success. I was afraid that nothing I did really mattered.
I was afraid of being insignificant.
It turns out I’m not the only one afraid of insignificance. At least, I think I must not be, because Max Lucado addresses that very topic first in his latest book, Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear.
We’re all afraid of something. For me, the list includes trains, bugs that sting, losing someone else I love in a car accident, something bad happening to my daughter, my husband dying and not living up to my potential. And that’s just the Cliff Notes version.
With Fearless, Lucado asks us to imagine a life without fear. Addressing 12 types of fears, including insignificance, violence, change, poverty, death and being unforgivable, Lucado uses Scripture to illustrate just how God can eliminate each of those fears and ends with a chapter about the one legitimate fear: the fear of the Lord.
Written with light self-deprecating humor and a casual, friendly tone, Fearless is an easy, encouraging and sometimes even entertaining read. On the other hand, Lucado’s quiet confidence backed by solid Scripture references allows the book to carry more weight, more substance than any oversimplified reminder that God is in control and everything will be all right.
I kept waiting to be disappointed by this book. You might find this shocking, but before “Fearless,” I hadn’t read any books by Max Lucado. I own books by Max Lucado, but I hadn’t read any. [Sorry, Mr. Lucado.]
I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Some Christian books glaze over the hard questions, skimming the surface of real life and offering pleasant platitudes to ease our pain and dispel our fears.
Lucado didn’t get off that easily. Sure, I finished a couple chapters and wished I’d gotten more answers. But not because Lucado ignored the fact that sometimes bad things do happen – even to those with enormous faith. No, he fully acknowledges that fact of life.
I guess part of me was just hoping this book would provide a step-by-step, money-back guaranteed list of instructions on how to get rid of every fear. In 30 days or less, of course.
With or without an infomercial-style solution, Fearless is a good book. It was a quick and easy read, but it also offers the possibility for more with a 37-page discussion guide that can be used by individuals or groups. I read some of the book’s chapters in-depth, but I skimmed others. And I think using a guide like this one would be helpful.
Are you wondering how my big fancy event ended? Well, I was blessed to have amazing friends at that job, and one of those women saw what was happening. And before I could allow those tears to spill down my cheeks and completely shrink into myself, she grabbed my arm and pulled me up to the stage.
I took the microphone. I made the announcement. The crowd clapped. And then I cried.
Since then I’ve realized that applause and microphones and spotlights don’t make me significant. Only God does that. But it’s still something I struggle with every single day. And I’m thankful for Lucado’s reminder in Fearless: “Courage is always a possibility.”
What are you afraid of?
ok… as i was reading the book review part i was like, "i wanna know how everything ended! i wanna know what happened!" so THANK YOU for sharing how the evening ended. when i was reading the story i almost had tears in my eyes too… that was so sad! i'm glad that in the end you got to announce the grand total!
and the book sounds good! something that i probably wouldn't pick out of a pile of books if not for your review…!
No fear is one of the things I look forward to most about Heaven. :) (I have too many fears to write here!;)
I like that quote too: "Courage is always a possibility." Spoken like a true Gryffindor. :) (which I am not but wish I were!)
Im afraid that last ten years with my husband will have been a waste. Im afraid the man I hoped I was marrying will never really be. Im afraid of not being able to have children ( now that Ive waited so long), with or without him.
My biggest fears? Insignificance and poverty. {deep breath} Just "saying" that out loud is hard!
Sounds like a great book…and how cool that you have such a big accomplishment in your history!
Oh Mary…where to begin! As I started reading today's post my eye's welled up with tears…I couldn't but think about how many times I've been in the same position as you. Someone else taking all the credit for the countless hours of hard work we've done. Then I went on to read about this AWESOME book…gotta go find it now! Of course you had to end your post with my sobbing like a baby! So glad you got your moment in the spotlight…you WERE noticed! I know that God is the only one that needs to notice our good deads but it sure does feel so good when others recognize a job well done.
I have to agree with my sister, Erin. As I was reading, I was inwardly hoping for a "happy ending." It's nice to be noticed for the hard work you did, so I'm glad you were the one to announce the total. How comforting to know that even when we feel insignificant and unimportant in this world, all we have to do is turn to God and realize how much He loves us. Such a comfort in a world that is a lot of the time unfair. Thanks for the book revuew too. It sounds like a good one!
How I would love to live with NO FEAR……
Great post, Mary! I appreciate your insights on this book. I always enjoy Lucado's books when I read them (which is rarely outside of his kid's books), but I hadn't heard of this one yet.
Oh to live without fear!! I need to grow in my fear of the Lord and weaken in my fear of everything else!
I was sad to see ks*Rebecca's comment…I hope you are okay my dear, I was sorry to read what you wrote…not really much to say since I don't know you personally, I just wanted to say I'm sad for you and I will pray for you!
I have so many things on my list that I need Max to come over for a pep talk like Jillian every now and again.
Not really, but that would be a good idea! Sounds like a great read!
Mary, I know the last thing in a list before the "and" doesn't need a comma, but I had to laugh when I read that you feared "my husband dying and not living up to my potential"! Sorry, I know that is totally inapropriate, but I found it humorous! You know I love you. :-)
oh, and here's another book I'll have to borrow.
Great post! I used to work in fundraising so I can understand the amount of work that goes into it, and the betrayl of having someone take credit for your work. I love how you used that expereince to recommend this book, and I'll definitely put it on my must-read list! :)
i can't wait to get my hands on this book. i'm unearthing a mountain of fear in my life right now…