I searched for a photo of a group hug, because I thought that illustrated tonight’s chat. When I found this photo of beautiful little girls, holding hands and dancing, well, I thought that it might just be the perfect picture of how God sees us. What do you think?Thanks to all the ladies who joined us tonight. What a great conversation we had!! I know a couple of you mentioned looking forward to my recap, but to be honest, I’m still processing a lot of what we talked about, so I’ll keep this brief.
First, if you’re just now joining us, you can read all the posts about our online study of Me, Myself & Lies (including weekly recaps). We’ve got a great group of ladies going through the book and discussing it each week, and we are always open to anyone who wants to jump in.
To purchase the book, you can get it at your local Lifeway store or on the Lifeway website. And if you’d like to download each week’s video (there is a cost), you can also get that on the Lifeway site. And if you have the book but not the videos, you can still get the answers for the last page of each chapter by downloading the (FREE) listening guide answers.
As for tonight’s discussion – wow. On one hand, it’s clearly no accident (duh!) that we are studying this topic. As we laughed about during the chat – all God’s women got issues, and this group is not immune! But on the other hand, these Monday night chats are really turning into a great, supportive environment where we can come and work through the issues that our study is addressing.
Thank you to the women who are participating. You are awesome, and I just love you!
One of the first things we discussed is that most of us are behind in the homework. Part of this (at least for me) is due to life’s circumstances and busy summers. But most of the reason is actually that this study is so dense, so full of material and truth to chew on, that it takes longer than just one day to process one lesson.
And I think that’s okay.
We talked about a couple different topics tonight. Rather than repeat all our words verbatim, I’m going to throw out a few bullets here and ask that everyone join in the discussion in the comments.
- Dealing with self-talk issues is overwhelming and, at times, feels impossible.
- But, we know that we can do all things with God. And it’s less overwhelming if we take this growing and changing process one day (or baby step) at a time.
- God has made each of us, giving us individual personalities. Some of us are more passionate and fiery than others – but we all need to make sure that “fire” is the righteous kind of passion God wants.
- We must be alert, guarding our souls (thought closets) to keep out the negative stuff.
- If we don’t pay attention, we might not even notice the bad stuff that’s in there. But the scary thing is – even if we don’t know it, everyone around us can see it.
- This is why we need a true accountability partner – something that none of us in tonight’s chat have at the moment. Our prayer this week is that God will lead each of us to a person who will support and encourage us in our walk with God. And as we discussed, we have to remember that accountability is serious business and we shouldn’t jump into a relationship without seeking God’s guidance.
- Questions that accountability partners could ask (per the study video): What do you see in my life that encourages you? What do you see in my life that you’d like to caution me about? Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?
- Week 4 talks about speaking peace to ourselves. Most of us on the chat admitted that we are no good at that! So rather than dwell on that as a failing, we agreed to search the Scripture this week and find a verse that will help us speak peace.
- We also talked briefly about how we present ourselves to the world as having it together, being happy, being perfect – both online and offline – and how that’s hurting everyone. Being authentic will not only free us to be ourselves and experience true growth and real intimacy, but it will also allow our friends to have perspective and be authentic themselves.
Do you have an accountability partner? Does trying to work through your issues get overwhelming? How do you speak peace to your soul?
I do not have an accountability partner, and to be honest, I’m scared to open myself up to someone like that. Working through my issues is always overwhelming, and my typical reaction is denial. I just push the issues down – with food, with TV, with internet, with talking – and pretend like they’re not there. And speaking peace? Well, sometimes I can do this – remembering truth and reciting scripture. But more often, I am much better at speaking fire and getting myself all riled up. So, I’m going to be finding a verse this week to help me calm down and listen to God and accept His peace.
What about you?
125x125-30days.gif)
I am right there with you on being an authentic person! Sometimes I'm so transparent, my husband, who is very private, does not always appreciate it! But I feel like it's good for people to hear about your failures & what you've learned. It is good to be humble and REAL. I think being transparent, makes you authentic and people can connect with you because of that! If you go around with only the appearance of being a "perfect" mom, wife, organizer, planner, hostess, dresser, shopper, thrifty-gal, crafty-gal..etc. it can intimidate people into not connecting with you—leaving you friendless.
[Reply]
Oh, I'm so sorry I missed it!
[Reply]
Becky is so right – it's about the "authentic" person. Discovering your AUTHENTIC person seems very scary. But I think the more of the ugly lies we uncover, the easier it is to see, accept and embrace the beauty God has placed within us. While we will NEVER be perfect, knowing our authentic self – as God intends us to be – is going to bring us peace. It's a hard journey, tho'. Letting go of a lot of lies. Feels scary, but its actually freeing! That's another reason I don't want to rush thru it all.
This is SUCH good stuff! Really amazing.
[Reply]
The chat last night was so good! I had a few thoughts just now reading over your recap. First I thought that maybe my friend, Carol, who is in my Bible study group would want to be my accountability partner. She shared with me once how she was that for awhile a few years ago with a friend in Maryland. But then I felt like I might not take #'s 2 and 3 well from her. She's married to a Christian man and her life appears perfect and rosey. (I know, another lie in my mind). Then I thought maybe my sister would be the perfect partner since she knows my life and personality better than any friend. But I'm afraid to ruin our relationship with constructive criticism. I'm not going to accept that well from anyone. How can I get past that?
[Reply]
I agree, Becky. :)
And Brenda, I know what you mean. It's one thing to tell God everything and let Him tell give you constructive criticism, but a sinful person?? I wondered if it would help to start out by choosing one thing to focus on? I think that's what I might do — have a friend just ask me daily (or frequently anyway) whether I'm praying and reading my Bible daily. I just think that might be a good place for me to start, since it's actively doing something (instead of telling me what not to do/what I already did wrong), and it will likely affect other areas too. And (obviously) because I'm not currently doing it. :( But yeah, it's still uncomfortable to have someone ask me and having to say no when I'm thinking she does do them regularly. But I also think that if I pick someone who is too much in the same boat as me, we might be too easy on each other, which isn't the point either. Sigh… why isn't this easier?? ;)
[Reply]
Excellent summary, Mary! It was a good chat! :)
[Reply]
Becky – I'm a little like you at times (too transparent). For me, though (and I'm not in any way saying this about you!), I’m way to quick to admit my faults and assume that’s enough – when really, I need to spend more time and effort changing and growing. It’s tough to find balance.
Amy – I missed you, but there is always next week!
Debbie – I love what you said – that finding our authentic person seems scary, but it’s freeing! After all, as my mother so eloquently says, God doesn’t make no junk. (Seriously, she says those exact words.) :-)
Brenda – I think you have legitimate concerns. I don’t know all the details of your relationship with your sister, but I know that would not work in my life. In my family, there are just too many dynamics and too much knowledge and baggage for my siblings and me to be that honest AND constructive with each other. Plus, sometimes it seems so much harder to take criticism (even when offered kindly) from family. I bet you’ll find that your friend Carol’s life isn’t perfect if you spend more time getting to know her. And remember, the goal of accountability partners is MUTUAL accountability. You need to partner with someone who also needs help in some area. (I think. I’m certainly NOT an expert in this area – but that’s always been my understanding! If I’m wrong, anyone, please set me straight!!)
Chelley – I definitely agree that partnering with someone who has the same exact issue you do is less likely to work, because you might be too easy on each other. I’ve had that situation happen more than once! And like I said to Brenda, I think you’ll feel more comfortable being held accountable if it’s a mutual arrangement, so you ask your partner the same types of questions about the issues that she’s struggling with. Because, nobody is perfect!
[Reply]