As you (hopefully) know by now, I had some internet connectivity problems last night and had to postpone our live chat. Well, I went home over lunch and tried to log on – and could not. So, rather than continue to tentatively plan on chatting tonight, I’m going to cancel this week’s chat.
I’m so sorry.
This means that we won’t chat until Monday, July 6 (because I am out of town on vacation next week). Please, PLEASE come back!! :) On July 6, we’ll have LOTS to talk about – we’ll touch on Week 2 and we’ll delve into Week 3.
For now, here are a few questions and thoughts to consider. Let’s discuss in the comments.
- We all have labels in our lives – words we believe (true or not, uplifting or not) describe us. What are YOUR labels? Where did they come from?
- Some labels are true. (I am a woman.) Some labels are false. (I am stupid.) I believe the author of our study was saying in Week 2 that often we develop false labels based on how we react and process true labels – leaving us with labels of FAITH (true) or FATE (false). Can you think of an example of this in your own life?
- I love, love, love how the author encourages us to focus on Romans 12:2: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
- Are you a Pharisee? Do you focus on cleaning your outside while leaving your inside dirty? (Matthew 23:25-26)
- Many of us make choices and develop habits based on faulty assumptions, just like the author did when, as a child, she thought angels were attending the Catholic church down the street. I know I often operate on faulty assumptions (I can do it myself. I must be perfect to be lovable. If I can’t lose weight, I’m a loser.) a lot. What about you?
- And last but not least, we read this week about roots and fruits. What are the fruits of your faulty assumptions and fate labels? What can you do to get rid of them – at the root?
All right, friends. I hope you can forgive this mess, and I hope you’ll continue on in the study and come back on July 6. Until then, this is my prayer for you:
Heavenly Father, I thank you for these awesome ladies you’ve brought together. I pray that you would bless them and speak to them and push them to grow through this study. I thank you for the saving grace and mercy you’ve given each of us so freely, and I thank you for each woman in this study who has accepted that salvation. I pray that each of us would lean on You and Your Truth only when filling our though closets, and I pray that you would erase the negative lies we’ve spent so many years lining our closets with and wearing in our lives. I pray for each woman in this study, God. I know we all have situations and issues and problems and burdens and joys and celebrations – and I thank you for being right there in the middle of all of it, holding our hands. Thank you for the book we’re reading and The Book we continue to read. I pray you will bring this group back together in two weeks. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
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one of my labels is that i'm pretty. hehe! this is because growing up whenever i'd look in a mirror i'd say "man, i'm pretty!" just to make my mom and sisters laugh.
and as far as being a pharisee, well, i definitely do not keep my outside clean!
this seriously looks like a GREAT study! maybe this fall when things slow down a bit i'll have to read the book!
Romans 12:2 was what my father-in-law preached on on Sunday :-D. How timely :-D.
I think my biggest label is "I need to be nice". Growing up, my mom ALWAYS said it is more important to be beautiful inside than outside and whenever I said anything nasty about someone (who was usually mean to me first), my mom would respond, "they have a mom who loves them too" and I would immediately feel guilty. I will get mild anxiety attacks if I think someone thinks I said something hurtful to them and overly analyze the conversation (ask my husband). Usually I will try to talk myself out of some perceived insult and then end up overly insulting them and putting my foot in my mouth. Often I will "talk tough" to my friends–tell them they should say "this" and "this", but when it is my turn, I can't do it. It is hard for me to be assertive so I am really proud of myself when I am.
My comment’s probably going to sound more negative than the previous ones. Sorry, but what can I say? My thought-closet needs a makeover, and that's why I'm here! :) (but this is why I prefer to have the chat window, which disappears when we’re done!;)
My main labels are fat/ugly, single and different. They’re not necessarily false, but the meanings I assign to them are. I am overweight, single, and different from many (although they say we’re more alike than different:). But overweight doesn’t mean invaluable/unlovable/undesirable/etc. like I think it does. Nor does single mean unwanted, etc. like I think it does, or different mean bad or unworthy like I think.
Obviously these thoughts are mostly my own, but I think society has a big role too, telling me that I shouldn't be different, I should be married, and I should be a certain size if I want to be important and/or loved. I especially think the single label is hard to see as just a fact and not fate. For most of the other labels/facts the author mentioned, they seemed like things that just happen to people or things that people really can't control (e.g. intelligence, fertility, physical conditions, etc.), but for some reason singleness seems like it's more the fault of the person who's single. And of course, since I think society sees it that way, I assume (I know, bad idea!) that people think that about me and therefore it must be true. That's one of my assumptions, I guess: that if people think it of me, it must be true. NOT so! (and in many cases, people don't even think what I think they think anyway;)
I think this also shows that I'm a Pharisee… I'm obviously more concerned with making the outside better (e.g. being thin so others find me attractive; being married so that others think I'm normal and desirable; etc.) than fixing the inside (i.e. developing my relationship with God; trusting and finding my worth in Him alone).
OK, this is turning into a thesis, but this is a topic I really could do a thesis on! (again, why I'm here!;) One more thing though: you asked about roots/fruits. My big one is the one the author talked about (which of course felt like God was talking directly to me!): hypersensitivity. That's the fruit, which stems from roots of pride, insecurity, perfectionism… I'm such a mess. :( I was encouraged though when she talked about the weapon of the Word choking out bad roots… I often relate to the seeds parable, where some seeds grow up but are choked by thorns (the concerns/troubles of the world, I think)… so this was a good picture for me. God's Word can choke out those thorns and bad roots. :) I sure hope so!
(Feel free to delete all or most of this, Mary, as I know it's ridiculously long!)
Ha, I never run out of things to say! That isn't your closet, is it? I didn't think you owned that many open-toed shoes! ;)
No, that's not my closet. :)
HM, I think that's something (feeling like you HAVE to be a "nice girl") I've heard other people talk about, too. I know that for me, it's hard to find the balance between being nice and being a doormat, being assertive and being a jerk. And then there's the question (that I ask myself) of WHY am I trying to be "nice" – is it because I truly want to be kind to people or because I want them to think well of me??
One of the things that the author said that resonated with me is when she talked about having an unhealthy level of self-awareness. Which, when it comes down to it, is really about pride and selfishness.
I think that society plays a big part in the "fate" labels that we can adopt, but we can't let that be an excuse for believing lies. For instance, just because I'm a working mom doesn't mean I'm a bad mom; just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I'm intolerant or ignorant; and just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I'm a lazy slob. But it sure is hard not to believe those things at times!!
Chelley, one thing I'm having to really think about is which of my labels truly ARE fact. For example, I am obviously a woman. But am I truly smart? I'm married (fact), but do I really have a pretty face? Some of the labels I've accepted as FACT may not be…
Some of those labels are relative too, aren't they? Or in the eye of the beholder or whatever? (e.g. smart and pretty) Although, the Bible says we have the mind of Christ and talks about having wisdom, and then there's that whole 'fearfully and wonderfully' made, so I guess it's just what we're measuring it against (e.g. are we pretty/smart in God's eyes or the world's eyes?).
Or maybe they're the wrong labels to focus on anyway. Does it really matter how smart and/or pretty we are? God looks at our hearts instead of our outward appearance, and His wisdom is available for anybody — the simple or the wise of the world (which is humbling!:). Just thinking "aloud" here… :)
I related to the part about an unhealthy level of self-awareness too. (How could I not if I'm hypersensitive??;)