[Today is Annalyn's birthday,so I'll wrap up my crazy little story for you...]
I’ll spare you the gory details, but here are a few highlights from the next several hours:
- As the nurses and doctors began rushing around my room, which was blurry and a little orange, I asked Mark if I was going to die. His reassuring response? “I don’t think so.”
- My nurse, Kristina, overheard and said, “Not on my watch.” I found out later that she stayed in my room most of the following night, just watching me breathe, making sure I was okay.
- The drugs in my system and my condition made me so loopy that while talking to my mom on the phone as they prepped me for surgery, I made a completely inappropriate comment about what “prepping for surgery” included. I can’t dwell on that because it’s so out of character for me and for my relationship with my mom that it’s just too humiliating.
- I started to cry as they gave me the epidural, but then I had to laugh at myself. I’d had too many friends get that shot to the spine in the middle of contractions to really feel sorry for myself.
- I talked to Mark, non-stop, during the entire surgery (which didn’t last long), because I was so nervous. The anesthesiologist laughed at us because we were talking so much.
And then she was born.
My beautiful, wonderful, healthy baby girl was born just after midnight on Monday, October 8. She weighed 3 lbs, 14 oz., and she was the cutest little frog I’d ever seen. I’m not kidding. She kind of reminded me of a frog.
The rest of that day is a blur. My memory includes a NICU nurse chastising me for not breastfeeding; my dear friends, Zac and Mandy, coming into my dark room and whispering their congratulations; my aunt sneaking into the room by telling the nurse she was my grandma – that really messes with your head when you’re all hopped up on drugs, let me tell you; my hand cramping from holding the painkiller button so tightly, terrified that I’d drop it in my sleep and the pain would start; stumbling through dictation for Smitty and Mark as they wrote an e-mail announcement to send to all our friends and family; asking Nurse Kristina for something to help me sleep, because every time I started to doze off, I got a little panicky, thinking I wouldn’t wake up; Mark waking me up in the middle of the night to show me the tiny red dress he’d bought our daughter during a late-night run to Walmart.
Our baby girl was born a year ago today. And she was healthy and strong and perfect. Because my condition didn’t improve immediately and was apparently more serious than they’d let on, I wasn’t allowed to leave my room until Thursday. But the NICU nurses actually brought her in to see me for a few, brief minutes on Tuesday and Wednesday.
Thursday was a big day. They removed all my wires – IV, catheter, spinal block. I took a shower. I ate a meal sitting in a chair. And I was wheeled down the hall to hold my daughter in the nursery.
My health returned slowly and I was finally released from the hospital on Saturday. Mark and I didn’t return home with a baby, though. She stayed in the hospital for another week and a half, gaining weight, learning to eat and staying warm. My feisty baby ripped out her feeding tube a full week before the nurses thought she’d be able to eat from a bottle and never looked back. After a brief stint under the blue light, she kicked the jaundice problem. And finally – just a couple days later than we’d hoped – she learned how to keep herself warm enough to come home.
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It has been fascinating reading your account of a year ago. I’m glad for me that I get to hear this, but I’m glad for you that you took the time to write it up. I think you’ll appreciate having the account years down the road. Praise God that you can look back on these memories with honesty and Praise Him that He watched over all of you this time one year ago! I am truly thankful He took care of my good friend and her little girl!
Thanks, Amber. I hope I haven’t bored everyone – these posts have really been for me. I just needed to get it all out.
And yes, Praise God for all of it!!
Praise God for healthy babies! It is such a miracle, every time it happens. I love your story, and can relate on so many levels – including the breastfeeding police!
Happy Birthday, Photobaby!
I can’t believe they actually chastised you for not breastfeeding!!! Don’t they understand how tiring breastfeeding is and when you HAVE to take care of yourself there is no way you could have done it! How ridiculous!
Thanks, honormom.
I was still on the magnesium at that point and half paralyzed from the spinal, so that first day, someone would have had to pump me and then dump it. Then until she was released from the NICU (and we thought it would be up to a month at first), I’d have to pump and bring it to the hospital. Considering I wasn’t excited about doing it to start with (even though YES, I KNOW the many health benefits!), this plan didn’t sound good to me.
EVERYONE at the hospital was AWESOME and supportive, except for that one nurse. And she even told my mom that my baby might die if I didn’t breastfeed.
Even if you haven’t met my mom (and especially if you have), I’m sure you can imagine how well that went over. :)
Wow, why would you say that??
Photo, you forgot the part where you went to your baby shower as soon as you got out of the hospital — you’re crazy. ;) But it was good to see you, of course. And I’m obviously glad everything turned out OK. (Oh, and that part about the red dress was so sweet — go, Mark! — except for saying “I don’t think so” when you asked him if you were going to die;)
Happy 1st birthday, Photobaby! :D
i still get people who think it’s horrible that i didn’t breastfeed – and i have two beautiful, healthy children.
happy birthday, photobaby!!!
Thanks, Chelley and Hobsis.
Chelley, I didn’t forget that part. I just ran out of room to write about it. You’re right – one of the things that is so important to me from the whole ordeal is how my family and friends were THERE for us!!
Happy birthday Photobaby!!
I wasn’t able to breastfeed either of my babies- well, I could have fed 10 babies- but then I would have died! Everything else shuts down when I breastfeed! There are just some people out there that can’t see beyond their creed and try to force it on other people. I had lots of nurses get down on me “oh everyone can breastfeed.” umm… nope! Only my OB was rational and she had me stop right away! I hope you don’t feel bad about it anymore. Mom’s have enough to feel guilty for! Our kids score above average on all the tests they’ve ever done so they’re just fine!- AND they have a mommy!
Whew! I can finally relax now. I’m so thankful both you and your sweet baby girl are healthy. Yes, praise God! Wow, what an experience you went through. Great story telling and suspense- I enjoyed reading every day. Happy Birthday to precious little photobaby!!! :)
you know this could totally be a Lifetime made for TV Movie???
wow…im tearing up here girl!